“I don’t care about others’ opinion.”
This is a strong, powerful statement and when said in the context of self-love, is an important path to keep doing things you love, without falling into the trap of relying on others consistently to create the life you want to live for yourself.
However, new thoughts are healthy too.
It's time we break away from the stigma of seeking external validation as something that is totally negative. It's okay to reaffirm our value from the lenses of people who legit care for us. It's okay to ask for help. It's all just a matter of balance. Believe in yourself, and be open to others believing in you too 😉
Here are some reasons why it’s okay to also seek external validation from others:
We are social beings.
Our self-love is cultivated by our experiences with our relationships. We learn to rely on ourselves through the various lessons we learned or have picked up from connecting with others platonically or romantically.
Internal Validation isn’t enough to work on ourselves.
External validation is an important tool that can help empower us as long as it’s coming from people who matter to us: your mentors that you have selected for yourself, people who are in tune with your own values, friends who can dish out both the good and the bad in kind, honest ways.
Seeking external validation is sometimes a call for help.
And that’s totally okay. It can be in the form of a therapist, a good friend, or a family member. Fresh perspectives come in handy when we seek validation from the people surrounding us. We have different lived experiences, and this makes up the important fabric of life.
It’s all about being kind to each other.
Balance is key. We must change the stigma of external validation as a thing for weak people or people who can’t find their own strength. Let’s all be kind and helpful to each other. Drop the brutal honesty and instead use empowering and kind honesty.
We leave you with this: We are all created for connection ang belonging. Our independence also relies on meaningful relationships.
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